I was talking to a good friend yesterday about how this year more than ever I feel so supported. I don’t remember feeling so un-isolated in my life.
There are so many people who want me to succeed and believe I will succeed that when I sit back and think of them all it’s like I can just ride on the conveyer belt of their curiousity of ‘how I’ll do it’ all the way to my goals. I really thought I’d be stressed – the more people knowing about my design, the more I’d feel like I was incapable and worried I would let them down. But there hasn’t been any of that. Sure my designs in the very beginning weren’t phenomenal and I know they can get much better than they are now – but that’s part of the process.
I’m really learning to embrace the process in several ways of my life. The process of developing as a designer, the process of research, the process of watching a design go from a blank screen to a finished-in-my-hand product.
The process of taking photos – being completely in the moment and savoring it for later. Going back to it and tweaking it to be as amazing as you remember, trying to capture emotions and a story in a picture. Later seeing the finished compilation of a series of stories and moments.
The process of working out and eating healthy – feeling the burn along the way, watching the cravings come and go, seeing the results in my body shape – It’s amazing to me we have so much power we can change our own body composition.
The process of watching my stepdaughter (the cherub) grow and learn and take care of herself. Reminding myself all along the way to stay presently myself and not morph into my parents or sisters or Brian – but stay with her as my authentic self and roll with the punches. The moments of frustration and irritation fade away when she opens up to me about a hard day or when she says something like, “I feel like I can talk to you about anything.”
Last week I ran across the phrase “Act Without Expectation” by Lao Tzu and it just stuck with me. When I act without expectation, there are no limits, no doubts, no worries. The possibilities are endless and I’m not tied to any specific outcome. I’m watching curiously like by cats do when for whatever reason, they stare at the lamp or the corners of the walls.