A major flaw in my time management – or lack there of – is a general belief about life I’ve recently noticed I have.
Noticing how I notice things about myself and my beliefs, I’ve noticed this before, but wasn’t quite sure what to do about it. Isn’t that the way it goes?
You notice something’s askew. Time passes.
You notice it’s still askew. Time passes.
Eventually whatever you noticed starts to really grate on your nerves and you decide that that crooked line needs to be straightened. Time passes.
After trying a little while, you fall into being okay with askew again. Time passes.
Then all of a sudden, the whole picture looks crooked and with all the energy of the first time you noticed it, something must change and you’re finally prepared to do something about it because apparently, it’s not just going to go away.
Spoiler alert: the same revelation happens at least 3 or 4 times before something actually changes. This is the 4th time.
Back to that time management issue. Being brought up in a hyper religious environment with super stress on how Jesus may come AT-ANY-MOMENT-SO-YOU-BETTER-BE-READY-OR-YOU’LL…have to stay on Earth with the rest of the godless heathens. This mixed with the “It’s no use to plan too far into the future because the rapture will probably come back before then anyway, do you want God to find you in church or studying for a Bachelors in Advertising?” helped create an Eat-Drink-and-Be-Merry (for tomorrow we die)! type of attitude in me.
Surprisingly, this hasn’t really helped me succeed or be very productive at all in what I want to accomplish.
So, just as the hampering and terrifying beliefs about sinning and judgement day and eternal damnation have lost their sting and faded away, I’ll allow this scapegoat belief of “What’s the point? Tomorrow we die.” die a quiet death.
Because worrying, being afraid, not trying, not practicing, not doing and being the things I want to do and be and know I can do and be (or will be able to do and be if I stick with it) IS eternal damnation.
Because my eternity is right now, this moment. It’s time to make the most of it.